I’ve only been to the principal’s office once in my life. It was in Grade 5. Me and my best friend Eleanor went out of school grounds during lunchtime to get a game from her house. When we got back, an irate play ground supervisor was waiting for us with her informant in tow. Before I knew it, I was on the verge of tears, talking myself down from a level 8 meltdown. It just became worse when we reached the principal’s office because all the bad kids were lined up in a row and sitting against the wall. Not only did I have to sit next to the kids that got called down to the principal’s office all the time, but I was separated from Eleanor (the only reason I hadn’t completely lost it by this point). Luckily for me (and the rest of the outlaws), the principal was out that day. I spent half an hour with my eyes closed praying that she wouldn’t call me in first. Eventually, my irate play ground supervisor came back and told me I could go back to class. I promised I would never get called down again.
Today, I spent forty minutes on a chair outside one of my prof’s offices waiting to pitch her a sub par essay idea and I felt the exact same way. So much for never being caught with my pants down again.
I’ve only been driving regularly for the last 9 months or so. In that time, being the sole non-working driver in the family, I’ve spent a LOT of time in the car. I have to say it is my favourite place to be. There’s no where else in the world (except maybe the bathroom) where it is more fun to sing really loudly. Every trip has a different mood. Lately, (thanks to a brilliant birthday present) I’ve been belting out a certain 70s rock song. Yeah, I know I’m really lame…I only heard it when it was popularized by Juno, but it does lend itself to face melting, nose scrunching solos while driving to dance at 10 in the morning. (more…)
Perhaps the most embarrassing thing about cleaning out your room is finding things from a last life…i.e. remnants of those tumultuous years known as teenage-dom. I can’t say I miss the days when having no air conditioning in the house, or not having enough cereal in the morning would incite a vicious three page diary entry about how much I hate my life, but it’s funny to think that I was once actually capable of being that angry. I only ever had one diary–a pink book someone gave me for my thirteenth birthday–and thankfully I didn’t write too much, just some bad poetry and weepy entries about some drama in my life. I wasn’t dedicated enough to be too regular about my entries, which makes whatever I did write just that much more entertaining because I only managed to pick up a pen when I was really angry. The result is 50 pages of ranting, most of which is written in red ink. I’m sure if anyone else were ever to read it they’d want to have me committed. (more…)
Happy Awkward Moments Day everyone! In a world so concerned with being politically correct and otherwise perfect, here is a day that is finally dedicated to people like me, who firmly wedge their feet (both at the same time) in their mouths on a regular basis and are generally uncomfortable when faced with the prospect of speaking to more than one person at a time. In honour of the occasion, here is my awkward moment of the day:
(During the question period after a Cambodian dance performance in class)
Me: I noticed that your hands were shaking as you were changing kabaches (hand movements), what’s the significance of that?
I’m taking a class this year that I had high expectations for. The professor invited me to take the class, I thought the reading list was brilliant and I was generally excited to be a part of a class that would actually discuss things I enjoyed. The problem is that the professor’s too nice! I guess after years of going to a school in which the faculty sees undergrads as lowly beings who must scuttle around beneath them rolling their collective wisdom into little balls of dung pearls to store away in the recesses of their minds, having a prof who tells everyone that they’ve made a “good point” and believes questioning an author should never include questions about her actual work or anything remotely critical is just unacceptable. Not everyone makes good points! A class average can NEVER be an A minus! An intrusion into the personal lives of class speakers is not acceptable! Not everything we read is good, and if I don’t like it I swear I’m not trying to insult you! (more…)
My day used to start at 6.45 in the morning. I would wake up to the sound of the morning news and the smell of a sunny side up. Just as I came out of the bathroom, he’d be leaving for work. I would put my chubby arms around his neck and say bye for the day. One day, I woke up in a foul mood and didn’t say anything to him. By mid-morning, I missed him so much that I began to cry. When I spoke to him on the phone he (almost) laughed and said he wasn’t angry. He said he would come home soon in that sing song voice he always used to assure me everything was alright. That night, when I saw him, I ran into his long trench coat. While he hugged me I breathed in a mixture of his cologne and the mint gum he kept in his pockets. Just like that, my whole world was right again.
Sorry for the overload of Youtube videos as of late but I just have to share this! When I was younger, I loved Postman Pat. I sang his theme song all the time and even rode the little Postman Pat ride at the grocery store. Eventually I forgot most of the lyrics. That is, until I found the opening sequence of the cartoon on Youtube. (more…)
Welcome to the world of three foot snow drifts. In an alternate world (also known as the downtown core) where snow is restricted to parks and the onslaught of the worst snowstorm in years doesn’t bring up thoughts of maiming oneself with snow shovelling apparatus, I would love all this precipitation! There’s something so wonderfully incomprehensible about a huge pile up of snow. You can make things out of it and fall into it without ever getting your hands dirty. What other substance (natural or man made) could do all those things for you? But, here in the real world (also known as suburbia), a world made of seemingly endless driveways and uncleared sidewalks, snowstorms like the one we had last night are a nightmare.
When the misery of suburban snow clearing gets to me, all I have to do is look at my new favourite picture: (more…)
Two posts in one day?! Wow…you guys must be in luck. I’ve had a tremendous amount of inspiration today. My test today was the worst thing I’ve written in quite some time (aside from that post I wrote this morning…I should personally thank you for not chastising me on that trainwreck). It wasn’t that I didn’t know the cases, or that I didn’t prepare, it comes down to the fact that when faced with a test I become a dithering idiot who can’t put an essay together. BLAH!
Aside from that unpleasant business, I finally got boots. They’re black, leather-like and have some serious heel! I think it’s the farthest thing from “me” I’ve ever bought. I usually dress like a student: jeans, some t-shirt and a hoodie. These boots mark the end of expandable waist bands, polo shirts on weekdays and mismatched socks. How I will miss my old brown shoes!
